Time is flying by so fast!!

Wow I havent blogged in so long its been crazy here, Time is flying by so fast!! I have been working so much because its the end of the insurance deductible year so many people want to get in for procedures etc before they have to start paying their deductibles in january again. I am getting over a strep infection that turned into an upper respiratory infection and landed me home from work for a few days. Then my poor furbaby Prada started her period, so its been a week of diaper changing and cleaning her room and bathing her. but god she is so stinkin cute in her doggy diapers its hysterical. Oh and I cut off all my hair!! I have been growing it out since I lost my hair to chemo so I really wanted long hair again but ya know what? I really liked the ease of doing my hair and not having to fuss over it when it was short. So off it went into a short bob...its cute though.

We have so much going on the next month its crazy, My husband has a ball that is thrown every year by his Company (army company/battalion that is). They give out awards then etc. Its in Tennesse this year so we will be going there for a long weekend. Its 80s themed for the night after the ball so I talked my husband into going as Tom Cruise from Risky Business in his undies and dress shirt haha, Now I just need to figure out what I will dress as. Then we are going to RI for 2 weeks from december to january to visit family. I have a 2 parties for my office in december. AHhh to be so damn busy. I need to start shipping all the christmas gifts back home so when we travel we do not have to lug them all with us. OH yeah in during all of this Prada has to get spayed.....See all of this is going to cease when we have a baby.

Ahh Trying to concieve, its been a hard road. Its seeming like after all this time its just becoming a chore and we just arent "into" it anymore. (the sex part that is). We so really want a baby but I just dont see that happening after everything now. I really thought this month was going to be my month. My chart was looking good, my temps, my cm and all the sexin my husband and I were doing. I thought it was all great timing but then lucky me FF changed my O date so now it looks horrible. I thought that with the spotting I had while I O'd this month was a sign of great things since they say spotting while O is a sign of extreme fertility. BUT you have to have sex around that time to get pregnant and it looks like we missed it.

I have decided that If i am not pregnant by the new year which means 8 years, then I want to start looking into adoption. I just so want a child in my home it just doesnt matter if its biological or not, we just want a baby to love and give a home and a life to. I think its time to throw in the towel and come to the realization that my husband and I will not be having a child together by birth. It just hurts that I can not give him that but I can do what it takes to give him a family and that means adoption so its time to do it. That is my new years resolution...take the necessary steps to make a family outside of my selfish need to have a biological child with my husband...If we pick the child then its still ours through the love in our hearts to find that special child and welcome him or her into our home and our hearts.