My shoes

ya know its like no place is safe. I can not even go on a public board that is supposed to be for women trying to get pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant or who are pregnant. Wow, they think I am the enemy so when let them. Its just sad that I have to deal with this crap in my life and online too. All I said this time was "I know I am the enemy" meaning she probably doesnt want to hear it from me because everyone hates me...BUT good luck because I truly heartfeltly meant good luck and be safe. I was excited for this person to be on her way to having her baby. I did not mean it to be ohhh poor me...I meant it as, I know you dont want to hear from me but good luck, honestly and I cant even say that. I just give up. I cant win for losing. I can not get any support from my family because no one has been through what I have in my family and they all think its gods plan for me to not have children, I get the same thing from work, "maybe its not meant to be". My friends are all having babies and dont understand the torture it is to be me. My husbands family really doesnt want me having children because well god knows his bitch mother would think there goes her life insurance if something happened to my husband. I get the old well its a blessing you survived cancer, why would you want to risk it by getting pregnant. WELL frankly because I want to be a mother more than I want to live and breathe. I cant even go on a board...its pathetic. Im over it seriously. I give up trying, I give up trying to have a baby, I give it all up. I just cant take it anymore. I am not meant to be a mother. So I quit. I feel bad that my husband is the one who will suffer from it. He can easily go have a baby with someone else. He is the love of my life and frankly I do not deserve him. But apparently I have done something to deserve the torture that is my life. so I just quit. No more babies, no more trying.